warpspeed101

Hello hello,

I've been expecting youu...mwwwaaaahhh

*Sigh* Films don't have that witty villain-hero banter like they used to...anyways...

I know I said I love Utah but I have a confession to make...I really don't when its Winter *gasp* you don't say?

I moved here from California about 2 years ago with the boyfriend [major major gamer who's discovered how to love and annoy me in all the right ways urghh] and we're going through our second winter. Mind you - we're both runners, hikers, bikers, and avid readers. So being stuck inside should be ok for us - right? Wrong.

I've found myself draining hours into the TV screen - that's not as negative as you should think since the Food Network has helped us add cooks to our list - watching food competitions, Netflix, and random chick flicks when I'm REALLY bored. On the other hand, he's super happy to just play WoW when he's off work or we haven't planned anything for the weekend. So sometimes I get jealous >~<

So I don't like winter because I'd rather be running or hiking or not having to wear everything I own to work just to stay warm - try to imagine...a little bundle of multi-colored scarves and socks and jumpers waddling carefully to the car. Only the keys, dangling from a heavily mittened hand, can be seen from a distance. Someone please illustrate that haha

In the summer and spring, I can explore and jump and skip and hike (sometimes begrudgingly I'll admit) and sweat! I don't have to go to a little gym - I can climb trees and pick flowers and skip rocks. But not in the bleak, blistery, blustering winter. No.

So that's my rant...I know it's been three years but I still love being part of this family! *^-^*

I don’t know what to write anymore

Its like a new brain in my mind

One of listless activity

Of restless itchiness

I get this sense of urgency

To get up and get going

To leave this place for good

And redirect my flow - that’s it - of course!

Why hadn’t I thought of it sooner:

I need a new direction

To set me back on course

 

I’ve been seeing shadows and painting pictures in my mind

But it’s a mind of a woman who’s lost her drive

All she does it sigh

And gaze at the lumps on his ceiling wishing they stars

There I’ve said it – it’s out of my mind – it’s free from my mind

But I’m not free

And I’m fine with that

Because you know what, people?

Freedom is a cruel joke played on us by our teachers

You can’t be happy and be free

Just how you can’t sneeze with your eyes open

It’s biologically detrimental to the nerves inside my brain

To think that I have no body or a heart or a vessel for my blood

To understand that I may not even have a memory to go back to

To ask if what I experience monotonously cannot be taken seriously

To know that what I know it not important to any man or any neutrino

 

No I’m not out of my mind – I’m fully aware of my metaphysical state

And not the breezeblocks that tie me down to a polished outlook

No

I prefer to see through shattered planes of glass

Through which I’ll leave the puzzle unfinished

It’s only fair

It’s only right

In a just world like ours

That we forget the system that we’ve created so perfectly to fit within another nonexistent system

And yet it’s still there

Roaming where we can’t go

And moaning when we can’t join

I want to meet this nightmare of a beast

But I’m afraid I’ve misplaced his contact info

It's been a while since I've been here
It's at this point here where I've realized/remembered that I have words, that I have language, that I have thoughts
These thoughts have been etched in a leather-bound journal carefully hidden in a drawer
Yet unfortunately, time and dust allied for good
My thoughts, however, have no ally to battle the smothering
The smothering
Smothering
Smothered
My thoughts can't be smothered
My thoughts can't be closed without a bookmark
So here I begin my renewed cognition

My name is Anya - short for Tatyana. Since this is my first journal entry, I would like to start of with a hello to my new found world of deviantArt. It's a place to express my emotions and creativity through my photography. And I want to find other forms of expression by looking at other forms of creativity.

So hello world, I've missed you